Crossroads

 (Crossroads), is the first song on my CD.  The first verse is; in the mirror I stop and stare, I wonder now, who's really there. I think I know who I am at times, but then I find, another me, another mind.  This refers to having a multiple personality.  A multiple personality doesn't mean you're not aware of what's going on, it simply means that you're affected by forces beyond your control.  People affected by this disorder are often bewildered as to why they reacted in the manner in which they did.  When this alter ego/personality comes forward, it robs the individual of their own volition and their desired behavior. In this altered state, it often even surprises themselves.  Under these circumstances their behavior leads them to regret and guilt. Therefore, (another me, another mind.)

The chorus describes the fear and frustration one feels when trying to discover and understand the forces that are upon them.  Perhaps the most terrifying part is the strong compulsion you feel when the alter egos manifest themselves.   The second verse reads; I turn away in fear at times, when I find, another will. And yet at quiet moments ask, what's inside, what is me, is it real?  This verse talks about the fear we feel in trying to face our demons. At best, it's a journey of confusion, regrets and struggle.

And so the song is a depiction of one's struggle to overcome the effects of tramatic childhood abuse.

Each one of us react differently in different social situations, for as the poet Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely actors.  They have their exits and their entrances and each man in his day plays many rolls, his acts being seven ages." But this not the type of roll I'm talking about when I speak of "multiple personalty."  These are not of our own choice but those of damaged alter egos who hold dark and dysfunctional behaviors.  

And finally the last words of the song deliver the message--in spite of our best efforts, we need the help of our Heavenly Father to finally become whole.